[Haha, yeah... That would help, because when Akechi glances her way? His expression is perfectly calm and placid. There's no indication of what he might be feeling right now.]
Luna. [Hm. He immediately looks down at his notebook again, jotting something down.] You sent Akira to look for me. Why?
[There's an inhale, and an exhale, shaking in an attempt to ground herself from the wave of guilt that nearly knocks her over.]
...
Yes, Akechi.
I... understand that I hurt you. I-I can't be perfect. But you take comments like that and just... hold them so close that you crack into pieces, regardless of their intent....
I... want to be able to talk to you. We have to be able to talk.
You're a good person, and you have good intentions, and I'm not going to give up on you when we've come this far already. But I... I don't want to have to be scared of you every time I have to open my mouth.
[Luna deserves better than this, and yet... Well. He doesn't snap at her, at least. The first thing she will hear is a scoff, tinged with disbelief.]
... A good person? Don't delude yourself. I know what I am. That will never change.
[She should absolutely give up on him. It would save them a lot of grief, at least. Less stress, too! He places his pen down on his notebook, staring at the pages for a second — and then he snaps it shut. Lays it flat on his lap.
Adds:]
I approached you before I knew your orders forbid you from divulging our secret.
Your memories told me otherwise, Akechi. I... think that maybe you tell yourself a lot of things that aren't entirely true. I won't pretend to know why. But... a terrible person would have abandoned the amount of work you've done a very, very long time ago. Even if you believe it's for selfish or idiotic reasons, I... I know I can trust you to keep going.
...
[She'll take a seat on the opposite end of the roundabout. Here, we don't even have to look at each other if you don't want to, you drama queen.]
Is that so. I was under the impression you did that only because you discovered I had something to hide, and therefore wanted to confront me about it.
... I was going to die no matter what. Maybe I was selfish, and wished to have a say in how I died. [...] It doesn't matter anymore, anyway.
[If Phoenix was right, Akechi will have to live after this, so... It's fine. He watches her walk past him from the corner of his eye, until he can't see her anymore.]
You will come to your own conclusions, regardless of what I say.
[That's how it always is, anyway.
He picks the notebook off his lap, laying it down next to his cellphone in an attempt to delay the inevitable, and then... he sighs. So... Moving on...]
Luna, there is something you need to know about Phoenix-san.
[A beat. For a second, it might feel like she's going to get up and walk away. It's probably what Akechi might expect.
But she doesn't.
With a shaking exhale, she lifts herself up onto the roundabout, turning to speak to him directly regardless of whether he's looking back.]
No, I don't.
All I can do is make assumptions. I... believe we just talked about that.
So please, just tell me instead of leading me around like this. You're the one who spoke so badly of not wanting me to act like an item if I didn't want to be treated like one, weren't you?
[Luna... He curls his hands into fists, digging his fingers into his palms. He has managed to keep his tone all this time, but the frustration begins to seep in now.]
You mutilated your own arm because you think you're expendable, and you can't figure out why the hell I kept this a secret from you? I saw your memories, Luna. I know what you think of yourself.
This isn't about me figuring it out, Akechi, this is about you talking to me and listening to what I'm saying...! I told you what I did, and why I did it... i-it was not because I was expendable...!
[Unlike the very cold, cruel anger that had unnaturally taken her over the second week, this bubbles out of Luna in a nervous flood, far more genuine and hard to refine. Because her anger wasn't at him, but at the distance between them, of the gap Phoenix had left behind and how agonizingly easy it was for Akechi to now feel a million miles away, closed off, pretending.]
W-what on earth did you think I was going to do? I've told you what I would prefer if circumstance required it, yes, but what did I ever tell you or show you that said otherwise?
And if the circumstances required it? [Emphasis, disdainfully.] Then what? You would know we're easily replaced. And you would die, because your programming told you it was the best choice.
[Of course, Luna can say whatever she wants. But Akechi is stuck on this one point. That one memory. It shouldn't matter. He should know better by now. And, yet... here we are. It would be easier if she snapped or shut down on him again. At least then he could tear her down and wash his hands of this entire arrangement.]
You said someone like you is more expendable than a human. What else am I supposed to think?
That's because it's my job, Akechi. I don't want to die, even if everything in my program says I am required to! You know all of this already! Why don't you believe me???
[His words get her to flinch, as they always do. But her grip tightens on the rail of the roundabout.]
I would like you to think I can be a little more trustworthy than that, and that I've tried to prove as much. I-I'm not trying to have anyone replace me...! I'm already a replacement! That's all I've ever been. Yes, I am acutely aware of how easily my spot could be filled, and that someone else would probably make much smarter decisions than me, but... w-what kind of a waste would it be to the people I care about to throw myself away because I couldn't handle my own feelings??
[But he sure isn't saying with this is actually about, because that involves acknowledging too many things he would rather sweep under the carpet. So! That's fine. Let's... focus on something else.]
[Quietly. Maybe, just maybe, he hates someone out there a little more.]
Does it matter? You're the only "Luna" the guests of this party know. [... The only one he knows, and the only one Phoenix knew.] Even the man in your memory didn't seem to care about what you are, and what you're not.
[Her words catch with the name on her lips. But, no... if she was demanding from him, she might as well lead by example.]
The Sigma you saw wasn't the one I knew. The body was, yes, but...
The boy met the toy bird first in the story for a reason... even if the boy himself crafted the very same toy later. The Sigma I knew... he had already met me, had met my original human counterpart... lost that human counterpart, and spent 25 years making me in her likeness... just so he would meet me in the past, and so he could instruct me in the future.
[Ah. Time fuckery. He did not care to hear from you again.
For what it's worth, Akechi listens to her. He doesn't interrupt her, or walk away from the conversation. He even waits a few seconds before he speaks again, succinct.]
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Luna. [Hm. He immediately looks down at his notebook again, jotting something down.] You sent Akira to look for me. Why?
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[Her mouth thins into a frown, looking behind her to make sure they're alone before crossing the distance and lowering her volume.]
Do you really expect me to leave you alone after what just happened???
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He stops writing, but doesn't look up at her.]
Because I'm so volatile?
[Quietly, practically spitting the last word out. He's wearing gloves today, but that won't stop her from noticing how strong his grip on the pen is.]
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...
Yes, Akechi.
I... understand that I hurt you. I-I can't be perfect. But you take comments like that and just... hold them so close that you crack into pieces, regardless of their intent....
I... want to be able to talk to you. We have to be able to talk.
You're a good person, and you have good intentions, and I'm not going to give up on you when we've come this far already. But I... I don't want to have to be scared of you every time I have to open my mouth.
Can't you trust me?
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... A good person? Don't delude yourself. I know what I am. That will never change.
[She should absolutely give up on him. It would save them a lot of grief, at least. Less stress, too! He places his pen down on his notebook, staring at the pages for a second — and then he snaps it shut. Lays it flat on his lap.
Adds:]
I approached you before I knew your orders forbid you from divulging our secret.
[Take that as you will, Luna.]
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...
[She'll take a seat on the opposite end of the roundabout. Here, we don't even have to look at each other if you don't want to, you drama queen.]
Is that so. I was under the impression you did that only because you discovered I had something to hide, and therefore wanted to confront me about it.
Is that not the case?
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[If Phoenix was right, Akechi will have to live after this, so... It's fine. He watches her walk past him from the corner of his eye, until he can't see her anymore.]
If that's your impression, perhaps you're right.
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[like. significantly less murderous feelings involved, sure, but...
She leans up against one of the bars, keeping her balance as even as possible.]
You would really rather let me come to a false conclusion like that instead of just being frank with me?
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[That's how it always is, anyway.
He picks the notebook off his lap, laying it down next to his cellphone in an attempt to delay the inevitable, and then... he sighs. So... Moving on...]
Luna, there is something you need to know about Phoenix-san.
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[But then he's moving on, and she's shutting up, letting him talk.]
...What about him?
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He isn't the partner I was assigned four weeks ago. He only gained his position after someone else died.
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What do you mean? Peach said it was only the three of us, didn't she...???
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She didn't lie, but perhaps it's inaccurate to say it was only the three of us. There are three positions, and no vacancies.
[He didn't want her to find out, because... well. It's Luna.
No way around it now, though.]
When Mammon-san died, Phoenix-san was given his job. The same thing will happen next week.
[And yet, here's Akechi! Still alive.]
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Something inside her goes, very, very cold. They... were all expendable, then. Every single one.
...]
...
...Akechi.
Why didn't you tell me this to begin with?
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[... Does he really have to explain?]
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But she doesn't.
With a shaking exhale, she lifts herself up onto the roundabout, turning to speak to him directly regardless of whether he's looking back.]
No, I don't.
All I can do is make assumptions. I... believe we just talked about that.
So please, just tell me instead of leading me around like this. You're the one who spoke so badly of not wanting me to act like an item if I didn't want to be treated like one, weren't you?
Just speak to me like a person. Please.
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You mutilated your own arm because you think you're expendable, and you can't figure out why the hell I kept this a secret from you? I saw your memories, Luna. I know what you think of yourself.
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[Unlike the very cold, cruel anger that had unnaturally taken her over the second week, this bubbles out of Luna in a nervous flood, far more genuine and hard to refine. Because her anger wasn't at him, but at the distance between them, of the gap Phoenix had left behind and how agonizingly easy it was for Akechi to now feel a million miles away, closed off, pretending.]
W-what on earth did you think I was going to do? I've told you what I would prefer if circumstance required it, yes, but what did I ever tell you or show you that said otherwise?
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[Of course, Luna can say whatever she wants. But Akechi is stuck on this one point. That one memory. It shouldn't matter. He should know better by now. And, yet... here we are. It would be easier if she snapped or shut down on him again. At least then he could tear her down and wash his hands of this entire arrangement.]
You said someone like you is more expendable than a human. What else am I supposed to think?
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[His words get her to flinch, as they always do. But her grip tightens on the rail of the roundabout.]
I would like you to think I can be a little more trustworthy than that, and that I've tried to prove as much. I-I'm not trying to have anyone replace me...! I'm already a replacement! That's all I've ever been. Yes, I am acutely aware of how easily my spot could be filled, and that someone else would probably make much smarter decisions than me, but... w-what kind of a waste would it be to the people I care about to throw myself away because I couldn't handle my own feelings??
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[But he sure isn't saying with this is actually about, because that involves acknowledging too many things he would rather sweep under the carpet. So! That's fine. Let's... focus on something else.]
What do you mean, you're already a replacement?
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Everything on my plaque is true, Akechi. Even the story underneath it.
If I am the toy bird, then where did my bones come from?
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I see.
[Quietly. Maybe, just maybe, he hates someone out there a little more.]
Does it matter? You're the only "Luna" the guests of this party know. [... The only one he knows, and the only one Phoenix knew.] Even the man in your memory didn't seem to care about what you are, and what you're not.
SPOILERS FOR ANDIE RIP
[Her words catch with the name on her lips. But, no... if she was demanding from him, she might as well lead by example.]
The Sigma you saw wasn't the one I knew. The body was, yes, but...
The boy met the toy bird first in the story for a reason... even if the boy himself crafted the very same toy later. The Sigma I knew... he had already met me, had met my original human counterpart... lost that human counterpart, and spent 25 years making me in her likeness... just so he would meet me in the past, and so he could instruct me in the future.
ANDIE AVERT THY EYES
For what it's worth, Akechi listens to her. He doesn't interrupt her, or walk away from the conversation. He even waits a few seconds before he speaks again, succinct.]
That isn't an answer to my question.
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